Hello!
First off, thank you for visiting Casey’s Compass. This blog has been a passion project weighing on my heart for years and knowing that souls like you are on the same journey as me makes me feel like this blog is worth while. Thank you for your love and support!
A little about me…
I started travelling on my own when I was twelve. I was a super shy child so when I was in first grade my parents put me in ballet class to try to give me a social life. I loved it. From that moment on that’s all I wanted to do. Dance. I attended my first ballet camp out of state in Seattle, Washington for two months when I was just 12 years old. I’d spend all day dancing and when I wasn’t dancing I was exploring. Every summer after that I’d spend two months in a new state dancing with a different company such as Boston Ballet, American Ballet Theatre and Ballet Austin.
After high school I had my sights set on joining Ballet Austin in Austin, Texas. I was absolutely CRUSHED when that didn’t work out, so, without a back up plan (as you do when you’re eighteen. Silly me) I moved to Los Angeles.
Side note: I’m going to be completely honest – I’ve always been a bright girl and I love learning but going the traditional college route was never meant for me. I’ve always envied and admired those, like my sister, that are really GOOD at being in school. I’m a “mover.” Sitting in a classroom for hours on end for someone that literally can’t sit still and has a difficult time learning lecture style and via text book is near impossible. I learn best by experiencing and doing something myself. The world has always been my most impactful classroom and that’s what I knew was meant for me.
Back to the story – So, I moved to Los Angeles and literally the day after I arrived I found an audition online for the Walt Disney Company. I attended the audition and soon after I was offered a job working at Disneyland Paris as, get ready for it… Tinkerbell. Haha hilarious! It took a little convincing from my family but in the end I took the contract and my life was forever changed.
That year in Paris taught me so much – how to be patient, how to listen, that it’s okay to try something new, art doesn’t only mean drawing or painting, my way isn’t the only right way, smiling is a universal language, cheese is yummy… I could go on forever but the most important thing Paris showed me was my passion for the world. It fed my desire for travel, for people, for history and for life.
During my time in Paris I popped over to London to audition for a show at Tokyo Disney. A few months later I was offered the job and without hesitation I said “yes” to the contract. I was there for close to two years. It was a life changing experience. I met some of my best friends there and travelled all over the beautiful country of Japan.
After three years of working abroad I thought maybe it was time to return back to the States. Living the Disney contract life is like living in a fairytale. The work is so much fun, you get travel to amazing places, partake in fun excursions daily and hang out with your friends ALL the time. The experience is honestly unreal and those that get to do it are very fortunate. So, at this point I was 21 and I thought maybe it was time to start thinking about… don’t make me say it… a career. So, I returned to Los Angeles.
I worked my butt off for the next three years attending acting school and trying to make a career in entertainment. To be honest, I didn’t do too shabby. Acting and dancing in theatre, commercials, television and film can be super fun but more than anything I was absolutely exhausted. Each day I would go to an audition, take class and then work every side job I could. Then, every so often I’d book something. I’d be super excited, have a great day or two on set and once filming was over it was back to the drawing board.
Don’t get me wrong… I’m not discrediting the entertainment industry WHATSOEVER. Those working in Los Angeles entertainment deserve all the kudos! They work their butts off and devote so much of themselves to a craft that doesn’t have any guaranteed pay off and that’s really beautiful. But in my case I was tired of feeling trapped in a cycle of small successes and I missed doing something outside of myself. I missed learning from people that grew up in a different place and with different experiences than I did. I missed feeling inspired. I missed fulfilling the desires of my adventuresome spirit. I missed the world.
So, I did what I knew best. I auditioned to go on tour with DisneyLive! and I was lucky to be cast in a new show that would be touring North and South America.
Being on tour reminded me of what it felt like to be free… Not attached to the necessary grind of the life I knew in Los Angeles. I was having meaningful conversations with the people around me. I was enjoying the small moments instead of feeling guilty for not working. I was seeing new things, trying new food, learning a new language and soaking every bit of life up like a sponge. I was happy. I know that this lifestyle isn’t everyones cup of tea nor is it of interest to all, but for me it was the once place that has always felt like home.
I know what it’s like to feel totally checked out of your life; like every day is the same color, the same grind, the same anxious feeling that what you truly want is unachievable. There have been so many days that I feel like an absolute failure. I’d often tell myself “you should have gone to college. Now you’ll never have a ‘real’ job. What are you going to do when you have a family? All of your friends are married and having children by now. There are so many better actors, dancers and writers than you. If you don’t book something to show your friends and family you’ll just be chasing a pipe dream. WHAT. ARE. YOU. DOING?!?!”
Time goes by so fast, am I right? No amount of pressure is necessary or worth filling your life with “should, need, can’t.” Today I honor the wounds that have made me who I am and moving forward, I think we all deserve the chance to pursue the things that make us the happiest.
Another side note: Although I have a love-hate relationship with Los Angeles entertainment, my above statements don’t mean that I will ban it from my life. I love exploring myself through being an actor. Acting and dancing has taught me so much about myself that I am truly grateful for, but I’ve found that it’s important for my well being to understanding that acting is simply something I enjoy doing. Not who I am. Therefore, I am allowing myself the freedom to not feel like ‘I’m giving up’ if I don’t solely devote all of time to that career. Like you, I am on a journey of self discovery and the most important thing to me is to be happy!
My one true mission with this blog is to remind everyone that you are not bound by any limitations. There is not only one correct formula for success and happiness. You’re life is a compass, not a clock.
No matter what it may be, you are worth every risk necessary to make your soul happy. I repeat… You are worthy. I hope to inspire you to chase whatever dreams your heart may hold.
Thank you for joining me on the journey 🙂 Now, let’s adventure!
